Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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