why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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