I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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