when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
