I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
