smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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