is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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