LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
