I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
