Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
