Sry I called you an 8
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
