Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've blown a few things in my day
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
