its not stalking. its research.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
