I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
