I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
