Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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