it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize