He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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