i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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