the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
