alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
