just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
