I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize