actually, I'm a sock model
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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