A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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