what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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