Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize