Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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