Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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