so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
