Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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