road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
