Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
