I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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