I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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