just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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