You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
