tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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