It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
