you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize