Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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