i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
