What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
