Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
