I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize