and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
