I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
