Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
