So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My life is pants optional.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize