just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
