are you still at the devil's house?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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