I want to walk on stilts...naked
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
