Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
