dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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