Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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