You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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