Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
