I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize