Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
