used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
