How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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