i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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