$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
