glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
