everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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