As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
