Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
