im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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