do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
