Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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