How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Don't tell me you're on acid again
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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