so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
